oh my. four months can surely fly by. and what a jam packed four months it’s been.
we start off in my living room, cleaning up after a date. as i’m trying to expertly grab all the bottles and cans one slips from my grasp and liquid seeps into the right top speaker. and that is why you have heard nothing buy my silence. abiding my time til the day came and I could begin to write more words and string them into some type of continuity. of course, I can’t remember every detail of every day that has gone by. that is too many sunrises and sunsets for me.
* I broke up with boy. the last month of our relationship was very strained and though he asked me to move down South with him, well something in my stomach wasn’t settling and I felt like it wasn’t the right choice.
* my mom and I stopped talking for about five months. i’ll leave that alone, suffice to say that I am now speaking to her and things are better.
* mancub was arrested for trespassing and put on informal probation. why I share this? so you can understand that I’ve been one busy mama bear trying to protect her bonehead teenage cub. he’ll be 16 years old in 22 days. I remember so much of that pregnancy, his kicks and punches. it doesn’t get easier.
* I’ve been trying to attend a new DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) program and I’ve committed to four days a week. unfortunately my health declined a bit when I threw out my back and developed sciatica. it’s been about five months and yesterday was the first day that I was truly pain free. I told you it doesn’t get easier.
* we started having some problems with housing, those scary, nerve wrecking nights when you don’t know when it will be your last day under that roof. the guest house has been in disrepair since moving in last year. I kept quiet because I really just needed somewhere to stay. but my landlord is a slumlord and I’ve had enough. it has given me motivation to get up and do something!…
* the end result: I am moving back home to Chicago on June. 16 oh boy oh boy, i’m excited, i’m nervous, i’m curious, i’m eager, i’m scared silly. this is all new to me. I haven’t been home since 1997 and even then things had changed so much from when I was growing up there as a child. I’ve reached out to family, hopeful to see them and start all over. I’ve missed so many days of their lives. i’m anxious to eat as much pizza as possible, because I ♥ pizza from home. deep dish and 10 lbs here I come. I’ve already rented a mailbox, set up reservations at two hostels, made appointments for apartment showings, researched the bus, l, train stations (and it’s still a mystery), and found a local knitting group that I can bond with. I plan on going to a blues club, buying my mom cheesy and caramel popcorn (not together she said), go to Oak Park beach, check out Willis Tower (Sears), Lincoln Park zoo…I have a lot to accomplish.
wish me luck. I will be back after I move with lots and lots of pictures.